Role Play

I was talking with some friends about junior high days and how if given the choice, we’d run away from the chance to go back to those days like it was the plague. The memory of the awkwardness, gawkiness, and sheer idiocy of our pubescent mentalities still linger in our minds. It was embarrassing enough to experience it once.

Facing seventh graders every day, I sympathize more than envy. The raging hormones, the boy who wanted to get with you yesterday but wants a different girl today, and the pain of not being invited to a friend’s party…those experiences will add up to form a murky, uncomfortable time in most of their lives. Whereas now I feel infinitely more comfortable in my own skin, I remember how important it was to be cool at their age. Effortlessly, undeniably cool.

However, I haven’t traveled leaps and bounds from where my students stand. I still try too hard at playing the role of a perfect teacher. That’s why I stress during lessons, acting like I know what I’m doing as I stupefy them into deeper boredom. I create awkward scenarios as I attempt to lead a Socratic seminar where the students shift uncomfortably in their seats as opposed to sharing and debating their ideas. Meanwhile I try not to show the popping beads of sweat and clammy palms.

My friend Kenny told me about a memorable moment when his dad was telling a family friend that Kenny wasn’t the only one growing up, that he himself was growing and learning what it is to be a father everyday. This year, I don’t want to memorize, rehearse, and perform. I want to reveal the honest truth-that I’m not a seasoned teacher yet. I will make stupid mistakes, pride will get in my way, and frustrations will come. But that one day I hope to become a great teacher...a teacher who goes beyond the curriculum and affects their hearts and lives as well as their minds.

Treats

I’ve found a chocolate truffle of a book. No, a real black truffle of a book that I eagerly sought out like a pig in the Italian woods. Just reading the title made my mouth water:

In it are gems of activities that show off the author's creativity. I'm inspired by her genius ideas. Jealously inspired.

1. Internal Monologue: students use character's feelings, experiences, and thoughts described in a story to deliver a monologue as the character.

2. Gift to a character: students will give 3 tangible or intangible gifts to the same or different characters in a story. Each gift needs a gift card attached to it to explain why that particular gift was given.

3. Candy Wrapper letter: students must bring empty candy wrappers to class. They will cut and paste candy wrappers to write a letter to a character.

Seeing all these activities I can’t help but think, and dare I say it...I’m excited for school to start! I know it’s a naively optimistic, stereotypical reaction expected of young/stupid teachers but I can’t help it. Candy wrappers! Soliloquies! Gift giving! How can I resist?

Killing 'em softly

People learn more from love than from the absence of it.

This may seem like a self-evident truth, so minimal that it hardly seems worthy of any appreciation. But think about how many times you’ve abstained love as a way to teach someone a lesson.

That bully who just wouldn’t leave you alone. I doubt you showered him/her with compliments or affection. When your boyfriend or girlfriend hurts your feelings, how easy is it to resort to ignoring their calls? And even amongst family, the revenge method of choice is to show exactly how much you don’t love them.

As a teacher, I confess that this is my go-to tactic when the kids are bratty, uncooperative, or just plain lazy. You wanna make my life hard? Ok fine. I’ve got 150 other kids to worry about and if you’re not going to do your job as a student, when why should I bend over backwards to care about you?

I tell myself and the students that it’s not personal, it’s business. Then I promptly resort to teaching those students who want to learn and mentally shutting out those who don’t. But I’ve recently heard that insanity is doing something that doesn’t work over and over again. The success rate of my zero-love policy for problem students is so dismal that it’d be crazy not to try loving these kids who hate me, my class, and school. Is what I have to lose so valuable anyways?

It’s been a humbling experience to dismount my high horse and see that prideful resentment does very little to better any relationship. The not so secret main ingredient here is love. Always love.

Love & Marriage-Part II

This time, I want to talk about marriage more in the literal sense seeing as how my sister just got married this past weekend (and was the most beautiful bride, I might add).

She was also the most relaxed bride I had ever seen, which only served to enhance her exterior beauty. She understood that the wedding wasn’t about making some feminine fantasy come true, but a formal, rather traditional celebration for families. She whole-heartedly accepted the Korean wedding traditions knowing that was what our family and what her husband’s family wanted. There were no ethereal engagement photos, Snow-white themed decorations adorning the chapel, or vintage 1950 cars sweeping them off to their honeymoon suite. It was simply pink & white, short & sweet.

And this acceptance on my sister’s part taught me much about…teaching. I view the first day of school of this dreamy day where a new chapter begins as I make my vows to educate each one of those shining, pure faces. I become a bashful, blushing bride as I fantasize about the happy year I will lead with my new students. And then that romantic resolution goes flying out the classroom window about after a month. I’m beginning to think that the secret to a long lasting relationship may be facing certain truths.

Therefore, I have mapped out some realities for myself as the big day approaches and I face my new batch of students:

1. They will be annoying. They’re 12 year olds and truth be told, I wasn’t much less annoying at their age.
1. Their main concern is looking good in front of their peers and not so much looking good in front of me.
3. They won’t be self-motivated.
4. They will not like being prodded to be self-motivated.
5. They will not like being prodded to be self-motivated even if you show them love. Or hatred.
6. They must be tricked into doing their work and raising their grade.
7. And the tricks must be engaging, intelligent, and seemingly effortless. Full on David Blaine.
8. But they must be tricked with a heart that’s directed more at their successes than my own.
9. I am not, nor will ever be their mom, sister, or psychologist.
10. It is my job is to teach every single one of them. Even the ones who stink.