People learn more from love than from the absence of it.
This may seem like a self-evident truth, so minimal that it hardly seems worthy of any appreciation. But think about how many times you’ve abstained love as a way to teach someone a lesson.
That bully who just wouldn’t leave you alone. I doubt you showered him/her with compliments or affection. When your boyfriend or girlfriend hurts your feelings, how easy is it to resort to ignoring their calls? And even amongst family, the revenge method of choice is to show exactly how much you don’t love them.
As a teacher, I confess that this is my go-to tactic when the kids are bratty, uncooperative, or just plain lazy. You wanna make my life hard? Ok fine. I’ve got 150 other kids to worry about and if you’re not going to do your job as a student, when why should I bend over backwards to care about you?
I tell myself and the students that it’s not personal, it’s business. Then I promptly resort to teaching those students who want to learn and mentally shutting out those who don’t. But I’ve recently heard that insanity is doing something that doesn’t work over and over again. The success rate of my zero-love policy for problem students is so dismal that it’d be crazy not to try loving these kids who hate me, my class, and school. Is what I have to lose so valuable anyways?
It’s been a humbling experience to dismount my high horse and see that prideful resentment does very little to better any relationship. The not so secret main ingredient here is love. Always love.
No comments:
Post a Comment